My "baby" girl is in peril and there is nothing I can do. I can pray - and I do - but I come awfully close to losing it, too.

This morning I went to the foot of the stairs and - strange as it may seem - I called out Heather's name - as if she were upstairs. I was reliving a time when she was a teen and still here. And then I did it again ...and then again...all the while choking on tears. For some reason it gave me some bit of comfort to relive that action from the past.

Finally - something told me I had better not do it one more time or I would go right over the edge. Maybe I already did... temporarily anyway. People can do strange things when they are in pain.

Life can be hard sometimes and now it is a nightmare. All that I can vow to myself is - it will NOT derail me from praying for her and her precious family...or from loving the God who gave her to us. I thank God so much for my Heather.

Wonderful memories parade through my mind. Growing up she was a loving/lovable daughter and sister and we were so blessed when God gave her to us. She brings -and has brought- such joy. God has blessed her life....in spite of what we are seeing now. May it be God's will to grant us mercy.