Confessions Of A Mom

Moms can be strong when their kids leave home. We may even look forward to a little more freedom. That might be because sometimes just before they leave home some of the kids are SO ready that they're a pain in the neck to have around. :-) Who knows?


I remember noticing that esp. with a couple of the boys. I thought.... Yeah, they're ready to have their own families and make their own decisions/mistakes. In a way I thought that was nature's way to make a mom look forward to it as much as them. :-) It only helped for a little while.

Well, for some of mine it has been a while since they left home and I'm learning new things that I need to get used to. My initial education on the subject was my own experience of leaving home. So...I remember how important it is to get out on your own and start your own family. Then that family becomes most important in your life - from then on....It's no longer, quite as much, the one you came from.

But now I'm at the next cross roads and to my surprise it is a LOT more daunting.

I vacillate between enjoying freedom to wondering why the kids don't look back as much as I wish/thought they would. To be fair -I think occasionally some of them do. But, this Christmas was hard because not only was it the first Christmas without any of the kids here (but 1 briefly)at home but when the married ones were here a week and a half before - it was somehow different. Leon noticed it too. They all seemed to enjoy each other's company – which was gratifying. I had the distinct feeling, however, that - had I disappeared - it would go unnoticed. I was the hostess – the facilitator of the gathering but – a caterer could have done the same thing.

This is the house that housed those kids and I can still hear their voices from the past. Funny how time carries - like sound. Sometimes I think I could manage the feeling of personal invisibility - then again – it has taken me by surprise!
Do I sound whinny? Probably.
I'm O.K., though.

I've learned that life throws curves.....all the time. If it didn't come from unexpected places we'd have this life all figured out and we probably would find ourselves feeling too self sufficient. That could be deadly...in the spiritual sense.

I love my family more than life itself. I used to evaluate myself as a mother when the kids were little and I always came up with the same conclusion. No one could love them more than I do! Maybe I should have measured my "mom qualification" a different way....asked myself a different question?

Well, our married kids , God bless them, have moved on. It is pointless to sit around missing them. We really can turn lemons into lemonade and it can be pretty good stuff...but one has to be willing to make it.

My mom used to tell me When you feel down - do something for someone else. She knew what she was talking about. She made lots of lemonade. I wonder if we all (her 5) knew where she got
some of those lemons? I hope so. She was a great mom...and deserves to be remembered that way.