Memories
Here I go again...
I'm told that when I was small I caused the family a good deal of "stress" because I "ran away" -
a lot.
Well - I never considered it "running away". I was just going places. My brother, Paul, was just here and to hear him talk it was kind of like hell on earth to be constantly sent out to hunt for his little sister - again.
What I remember wondering was what all the fuss was about. Paul claims that he and my other siblings - the one's in the disgruntled "search" club - would all practically beg mom to spank me or "she will do it again!" Mom's attitude was that I was too fragile. I supposed after having three energetic boys in a row might have made me look that way to her. They resented having to constantly spread out over town to find me and resented that mom never went looking but sent them. I did point out (today) that she had five kids to take care of (laundry, meals, etc.) - meaning - that fact might have entered into her enlisting their help. Of course, I was on the other end of that - so who am I to say what she should or shouldn't have done. I do remember seeing the new lock on the screen door and thinking "do they really think I can't figure that one out?"
That may have been the time I took a trip down to the police station or maybe the time I took the bus that was headed for Chicago. (We lived in southern IL) I got on the bus by sidling up next to a heavy black lady- easy to do when you have to bunch up to get through the door. I was about 4 and I remember the driver looking at me but he must have bought into my ploy. I got off that bus, though, in the next town maybe 20 miles away. They (at the bus station) were eventually trying to find out who I was but I would only tell them my first name. Since the bus driver remembered where I got on and the people at the bus station back home knew my family... the problem was solved. I don't ever remember getting nervous about how I was going to get home. Things just seemed to "work out" for me so I didn't worry much. A spanking probably would have been the answer. A little strategic pain goes a long way.....helps the memory. Sometimes saves a life. In my case - perhaps I just had an overworked guardian angel.
2 comments:
My sister decided to run away when she was 3 or 4. I being the older, wiser one (5 or so) decided to go after her. I "saved" her before she even got out of the driveway. I then informed my mom that I had saved my sister and expected her sincere gratitude, which was surprisingly absent!
At some point, I decided that running away was not such a bad idea. I did it a lot. Whenever things went wrong, I would just leave. Things went really wrong at one point in my life and I decided to leave it all. Period. I really thought God would understand. Fortunately, my plan didn't work.
After my husband and I married, it was not unusual for me to leave at least weekly. We had so much to work through. It was just easier to leave. I have always wished for someone to come after me, like I did for my sister. I have almost expected it. I never told my husband this. He probably thought what I needed was to be left alone. The last time I left home upset... I knew that it was about to end. As I reached out, I realized God was there. He had been the one to chase me all those times I had run away and I had not even noticed. He so sweetly hinted to me that it was time to grow up and stop running away. I haven't left since. There have been occasions that I have REALLY wanted to. Instead, I faced it head on. The confrontation. I hate those. But they have been so good, so healing. It is good to stay. I don't have to run anymore.
Jill,
That was great!...I laughed at the end of your first paragraph and was so inspired by the end of the rest of your comment. It reminds me of that song - "He Was There All The Time" which is a real tear jerker for me.
Thanks for that reminder.
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