A personal motto I've had  (consciously and unconsciously) for some time has been "I want to live (experience, learn, discover, etc.)  until I die".   Any other way would be just wasting time. Somewhere along the line I've slipped into a minute by minute existence which is excruciatingly boring.  

I used to   think...I live a really cushy life....(another way of realizing how thankful I was for blessings).  I'm still thankful but my zeal is gone.  I'm hoping spring changes that.  When nature wakes up, as God promises it always will, maybe I will too.

Now that I think about it I suppose I sound selfish.  I should be thinking  "what can I do for somebody else?"  That's what my mom always said....When you're feeling down - do something for someone  else!  

Even with Alzheimers  when she was feeling well she would occasionally  lie there in her bed praying and singing hymns.  She lost much of  her voice for singing but not her enthusiasm.  I wish I had taped her.  At least she's in my memory.